This is the perfect article to write as this first quarter of the year draws to an end. Many people, leaders, businesses, companies, and anyone who has set a year long goal are most likely going to take time to review their gains and losses over the past quarter and see how they match up to their goal so far.
As I look over the last quarter, I find myself judging myself in the present for not believing harder in my impossible goal (which sounds ridiculous even to me as I type this right now). I keep telling myself that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself because I signed up for trying the impossible, but there’s a part of me that is judgmental at how far I haven’t come. To be honest, what really sucks about this type of judgement, is how it blinds us to what we have done. I’ve really blown my own mind with the work I’ve done on myself and in my future business, but I can’t even appreciate that for more than a second if all I’m concerned about is where I’m lacking.
Does this sound familiar? I have a feeling it does because I hear people doing this to themselves in conversations almost every single day. I realized something that might be helpful to you if you’re right along side me on this: becoming the kind of person who can achieve a goal so big it’s nearly impossible, will be much easier if you stop judging yourself, be curious with what’s going on in your brain, and have compassion for yourself as you try to do this hard thing.
Let’s just throw it all away. All of the judgement. It just isn’t necessary. It in no way serves you in life. What thought is it that’s swimming around in your brain, the heavy one that insists on making its way into your conscious to be sure you know you’re not good enough, smart enough, worthy enough, pretty enough, thin enough, valuable enough to achieve what you’re going after? Whatever it is, toss it.
I decided I will no longer allow myself to think I’m not good enough to do this. It’s a thought that is not welcome in this brain of mine. When it pops up, I tell it “Nope, you don’t belong here anymore. Bye!” Now, with that thought gone, I can be curious. I wonder why I have an easier time believing I can achieve something awesome and hard in one area of my life and not another. Here’s an even better question: how can I transfer my super strong belief in my ability to lose all the extra weight for good to my ability to build a business? That question has my brain on a mission to find an answer that will tremendously serve me as the year goes on.
What is it that you’re struggling with on this impossible journey? Whatever it is, I want you to have compassion with yourself for struggling. That’s the point right? Why come on a journey to try to do something that you think is impossible if you aren’t open to the struggle?
Remember this: you’re just a person who is trying to figure things out, doing the best you can, trying to better yourself, and do good things in the world. I know that’s true. How about starting by doing good things for yourself first? Give yourself some love dear reader! And anyway, it’s hard to have love and compassion for others when you don’t have it for yourself.
I’m done judging myself. It doesn’t mean I won’t do hard things, but I decided I’m no longer going to think I’m less than, that I’m not good enough, or that I’m incapable. When I work through this, I’ll come out on the other side and be so glad I figured this out and took the time to work through it. I want the same for you! How awesome would it be to look back at the end of year and see how far you’ve come just by trying to do something so crazy AND loving yourself the entire way?!?
And doing so will be much more productive for anything you set out to achieve this year, whether it’s starting a business, getting married, writing a book, making more money, losing weight, improving your relationships, or whatever your impossible goal might be.
Stop judging yourself and instead love yourself. The more you love yourself, the more love there will be in the world. I promise.